Thursday, November 24, 2011

Comparing ourselves

When I was a kid playing pick-up basketball, I befriended a boy who is taller than average. He was so passionate in playing that time in the moment he was the best player out there hustling, rebounding, scoring and when he blocked my lay-up was so pumped up that he raised his fist in the air with a groan "Hell yeah!". After the game we walked out of the court quenched our thirst and ready to go home. During the walk I noticed him with a tear in his eyes and asked "Are you alright? You should be happy you were excellent today". Then he admitted to me that the reason why he was on fire playing is because he was so sick and tired of his parents comparing him to his older brother who excels in school and that he felt he was a jerk and a let down. I feel for him we were young that time and yet was so sensitive about the feeling of comparing to other people particularly within your family. 

Growing up we always encounter competition. We want to be the best, most of us wants to be on top of any aspect in life. Most people I encounter loves to brag about their accomplishments in life, about being proud of their family's legacy. What if you cannot reach the level that they have? What if your family lives an ordinary setting and seeing your rich friends living a luxurious life? What if you are jobless and your circle of friends are enjoying career success? Now, you felt being a bum or a patsy. Think of a moment of STOP COMPARING OURSELVES BECAUSE IT IS A TRAP!

There will always be people who are more talented, richer, smarter, wittier or more popular than we are. At some point we each must decide, "I'm a unique individual,I don't have to be a carbon copy of my famous father or my neighbor or anybody else." Keep in mind " I am not a super hero but I am doing the best I can and working at being a better person AND I accept myself for the moment."

When we cease continually comparing ourselves, we free ourselves to appreciate other people. We then quit the mental point scoring...." Wow he got that new house, new hot gadget and new hot girlfriend! - does that mean he's better than I?" Its time to scrap the destructive "IF YOU'RE MORE, I'M LESS" notion.

Loving yourself is not a matter of boasting to all the world. It is a matter of self-acceptance - of noting your qualities as well as your own shortcomings. You have to choose to be your best friend.

Now, let's play ball and believe in ourselves..

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